I’ve heard beautiful women say countless times, “How am I supposed to go on dates? Men don’t even approach me!” If you’re one of those women who men seem to just look right past, this post is for you.
Reasons why men don’t approach you:
You are always surrounded by women.
This is the most common reason. When we ladies go out, we tend to travel in packs. This is fine and all in good fun, but you must make sure to break away from the pack every 40 minutes or so. Go to the restroom alone. Head to the bar to order yourself a drink alone. Men have noticed you and they want to talk to you! They’re just not about to make a fool of themselves in front of your entire girl gang. In order to make sure that one of your girl friends doesn’t try to follow you and mess up your solo strut, simply say, “Ladies, I’m going fishing for a man. I’ll let you know if one bites.” If you don’t talk like a Sex in the City episode, put it in your own language. It’s better to preemptively tell your friends you want to head out alone than to rebuff a friend who has jumped up to join you as you head to the bar.
You are always surrounded by guys.
If you’re one of those women who hangs out with guys—or even your one best gay guy friend—you are likely getting c-blocked. Guys have no way of knowing what your relationship is with these men you are hanging out with. For all he knows, one of them is your boyfriend, and the other one is your brother. There is no way he’s getting in that mess. Try the same separation tactics as I suggested for when hanging out with girlfriends, but it’s a toss-up whether a guy will approach you or not. You’ve already been tainted by the other guys’ presence.
You have a negative resting face.
Everyone’s face looks different when we are lost in thought or just looking around a room. If you tend to frown or make other faces that say, “I am so not into this,” you are turning men away whether you know it or not. Try to smile as you stand looking around the room. I know you’ll feel loony, but it will actually make you feel happier and more confident—and be much more attractive. You don’t have to be smiling at anything in particular—just smiling at the Universe. You’ll really have something to smile about when a handsome young thing comes up to you and asks what great thing has you smiling like that. A happy, confident woman is irresistible to a man.
Your clothes say “Stay away!”
There are times when you just do not want any man to approach you or talk to you. However, most of the time, we Crazy Girls would be delighted to be approached by a guy—even if we aren’t all that interested in dating him. The attention itself is nice. In general, women tend to dress for the approval and admiration of other women. That’s fine and nice, but many times the fashion-forward outfits that draw the attention of other women simply dumbfound men. Try experimenting with your wardrobe and mixing in more pieces that appeal to men. Read tips on dressing for dating success here
You always look busy.
In the age of Iphones, tiny laptops, and iPods, we’ve gotten to the point where you never have to be idle in public. However, a man is not going to approach you if you are furiously texting on your Iphone or buried in a book. For all he knows, you are making plans to see your man tonight or studying for a test you have tomorrow. I’m not saying that you always have to sit there and do nothing, but try to be less consumed with technology and more present and involved in your surroundings when out in public. You may catch a man looking at you, and there’s your chance to smile ever so slightly and give him permission to approach you. Everyday we have dozens of opportunities to engage with other people rather than our phones. Riding the subway, waiting in line, and elevators are all potential places a guy could strike up a conversation with you—if he could just catch your eye!
If you make a conscious effort to do these things, you’ll find that you’ll end up having better interactions with people in general—even if they don’t end up being cute guys asking you out on a date.